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Be nice to fat people. One day they might save your life.
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My cat was talking to my dog the other day: I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god.
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- I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment. - Your eyesight is near perfect.
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Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.
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