Any persons (except players) caught collecting golf balls on this course will be prosecuted and have their balls removed. Make sure you read that sign carefully.
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Hey dad, remember when I killed that butterfly, and you said "No butter for a week" ? Mom just killed a cockroach ...
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Push. If that doesn't work pull. If that doesn't work we must be closed
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What people say vs what people mean. I just got out of the shower. I'll be there in an hour. And I'm really not sorry at all
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Names of the colors for both women and men
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Nice underwear
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Single. A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen
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In soviet Russia spam deletes you
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Let me be straight. It's just 'Morning.' If it was a 'Good morning' I'd be in my bed now
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A new restaurant has opened next door. Hot beer, lousy food, bad service. And you're welcome.
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Five deadly terms used by a woman. Fine - this is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shut up. Nothing - means something, and you need to be worried. Go ahead - it's a dare, not a permission. Don't do it.
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Facebook. It's like a jail. You sit around, waste time, have a profile picture, write on walls and get poked by guys you don't really know.
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Office timetable. 9:00 - starting time. 9:30 - arrive at work. 9:45 - coffee break. 11:00 - check email. 11:15 - prepare for lunch. 12:00 - lunch. 2:45 - browse the internet. 3:00 - tea break. 4:00 - prepare to go home. 4:30 - go home.
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We all have that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single
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To Err is human. To Arr is pirate.
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Christmas. The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.
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Taking a test. It did not look hard at all.
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Hey, babe. I'm in hospital. I got my leg injured at work and Paula brought me here. Doctors say I might lose my leg. -Who is Paula?
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Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.
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Sincerely, your teacher. Dear students, I know when you are texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles.
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