I'm not out of shape. Round is a shape.

Dog: I will love you unconditionally for food. Cat: I will refrain from ripping out your jugular vein for food.

Dude! Are you kidding me? Find him yourself !

My cat ridding his invisible bike.

Old McDonald had a farm. Had.

Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?

Please don't lick our van. Oh, come on!

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend

I guess the choice of weapon for this duel is your, Sir David. Sword or pistol ? - Sword. - As you wish. -That means Mr Van Hoyle, that you will have the pistol.

Guess who found your antidepressant pills

Every time I say 'Bah' doesn't mean you have to say 'Humbug'.

Nutella. What makeup do you use?

Pay attention, because I'm going to do this only once.

Who's awesome? You're awesome!

How do you breath through your little thing?

Sincerely, your teacher. Dear students, I know when you are texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles.

- Dad says you're spying on us. - He's not your dad.

Seriously, bro. Throw another one.

It does not matter how hard you try.

Doing politics. Doggie style.

Upgrading your service? I can help you with that right away. Cancelling service? Let me transfer you to the department with a 70 minutes wait time.