They edited out all scenes of women driving.

This dog is just fine. He actually likes to have a place where he can sit on the couch.

Housewife of the year. Not really, dude. Not really.

This kid wants books, computers and the ability to travel through time and space. Guess what he's getting from Santa.

Oh no ! She didn't !

Unspoken communication. Girls: Check out hair. Evaluate skin. Inspect jewelry. Guys: Hi

I can't eat that, I'm a vegan. Has that fish been tested for mercury? Is that bread gluten-free?

No, we won't. This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness.

Hey, babe. I'm in hospital. I got my leg injured at work and Paula brought me here. Doctors say I might lose my leg. -Who is Paula?

This guy is in real trouble.

Santa has seen your facebook statuses. You're getting a dictionary for Christmas.

Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.

This tiger is done playing.

-What are you thing about? -Nothing, just baby stuff.

"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, inwater there is bacteria." - Benjamin Franklin

I fit perfectly

Something happened in the kitchen and ... I love you so much.

Like if this has ever happened to you.

Teamwork. Stealing level: duck.

Chuck's Gmail account is gmail@chucknorris.com

I'm not out of shape. Round is a shape.