What my cat thinks he looks like when he's hiding. This is how he actually looks like.

Read that again. Welcome to Atwood. Home of the world famous 'Welcome to Atwood' sign

Don't rob this guy. His name is Rob, but please don't actually rob him.

When idiots collide at gas station. What are they trying to do there ?

Try to explain that to Noah. What the hell is that ?

Times are changing. My daughter asked me today. Daddy, since you lost your job and mommy is supporting us, should I give my father's day card to her ?

The judge is a man ? We're golden, I'm man's best friend.

My husband lived all his life thinking he cheated on me. He told me - I was unfaithful to you once. With some redhed. In the men's room of a pool hall in 1971. I was drunk. - That was me.

Honey, did you let the cat in last night ? No, I thought you did. Prepare to die.

Real life vs makeup. He doesn't look that tough anymore, does he ?

I was making cookies for the party. Guess what happened to my dough.

Five deadly terms used by a woman. Fine - this is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shut up. Nothing - means something, and you need to be worried. Go ahead - it's a dare, not a permission. Don't do it.

Look how happy he is. - No! It's my kitty. Get your own kitty !

Dogs, sometimes they fail to. At least he tried.

What do you call a fly with no wings ? A walk !

Look at him. Works one day a year. Spends the rest of it judging you. Santa.

Your iPhone is far more precious than you

Real motivation. Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now.

Give him some change. Poor man, his ex-wife had a better lawyer.

Apparently the Spanish version of signs have to have a mustache.